Reflections
AT ebb time I wrote a few lines upon the shore..and gave them all my heart and all my soul..at tide time I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.."jubran khalil"

:: Maids!
Sunday, July 30, 2006

I lift my eyes from my book and look around the palyground.Something doesn't feel right!No my kids are not missing,one of them's on the swing and the other's on the monkey bars,other kids are running around,eating their snacks and doing whatever kids their age do,but this different feel the playground has still dominates the air.I scan the surroundings and I figure it out.Are my eyes deceiving me?or is it true that,for once, there are more mothers in the playground than maids?Is that arabic echoing in my ears,raher than the usual srilankian,filipino,indonesain mixture?Yes it was a reality,that did not last long .Half an hour later the playground was crowded,the noise differed and I was in Doha again! Living in the arabian gulf,is like living in the asian penninsula.Where  indu and urdu are heard more than arabic, cricket is played in the streets rather than football,and far eastern nationals are more in numbers than arabs.I've seen how peopel live,and did not like it.Unfortunately,we are heading there,steadily!I have tried to spend my time usefully in Doha,so when I was offered to teach Kindergarten kids in the grandest Qatari school,I was more than pleased to agree.What I saw shocked me.It sadens me to feel us drifting that way.Every KG child had a maid,one that stood in line with him,carrying his bag,one that walked him to his classroom ,put his things in his box ,and often (seriously,no exaggeration)waited for him outside in the corridors all day long,just in case he needed to go to the toilet! So why would it shock me to see a ten year old Jordanian girl stretch her legs towards her maid without a word ,for her laces to be undone,and her shoes to be taken off ,so she can jump on the inflatable trampoline?I should be surprised why she didn't order her to jump on her behalf.

Now I have a few points for everyone to consider:

-Who needs a maid?
something to think about:some women won't have chidren till they have a maid:who's going to take care of the baby while I'm having my nails done?

-What are acceptable living conditions for maids in Jordan?
something to think about:A typical new 200m2 apartment  in amman has a 1.5m*1.5m  laundry room that may or may not have a window that opens to the piping duct.I have seen a house where the maid sleeps on a mattress spread on top of the washer and dryer.I have heard from someone that people sometimes ask for a maid to be short to fit in ther laundry room.

-What are maids rights in Jordan?
something to think about:A russian lady sent her daughter to the far end of the playground to see if the maid is chatting with other filipino girls and to command her to leave them and stay in another part of the playground if she was.(So it's not only us,Jordanians,obviously)Not only is she forbidding her from socializing,but she is also giving her 5 year old daughter command of the woman's life.

-How much money are you getting from your job after you deduct a maid's expenses?
something to think about:Having a career is not about the money.Going to work is not about the money.I agree.TOTALLY.But if the maid is costing you something around 200 dollars a month,counting her salary,residency and other expenses,and you are making 200 dinars a month(as is the case with some women I know),thus ending up with 30 Jds to spare ,isn't it worth considering to give up your work for a couple of years and enjoy your time with kids?

-Is having a maid making everyone lazier?
something to think about:when I asked my daughter who's responsibility is it to put her toys away,her response was :if we had a maid that would be hers!

-Is it essential to make the maid go everywhere with us to show her off?
something to consider:some mothers take the maid along when they walk their kids to the classroom.Do you need a chaperone to be with your kid?

-If you don't treat a maid in a civilized manner, do you trust her with your kids?
something to think about:She will never like your kids if she doesn't  like you!

And a few facts from Amman:

-Hiring agencies hit maids,with slippers and belts,to set a precedent that shows a maid:if you don't comply to your (owner's)standards,you will be physically disciplined.
-Some families are falling into the habit of having two maids for a family of four.
-It has happened before that a maid has been murdered,or committed suicide to escape her living conditions.

And finally a problem I  read in a gulf magazine:

-The lady writes to the magazine's editor asking for a solution to her problem:
I need your help.My son's in love with our 16 year old maid.I sent her home to Indonesia(she did not mention how much she must have beaten her first).And sent him to America to forget about her.i have just learnt that he has gone to see her twice in her country in the last six months.Help!

-Editor's reply:May God grant you the patience to overcome your great disaster.Try and find your son as uitable bride,and make him amrry her.He will forget about the maid!I feel for you.Your pain is obvious,and you have the right to be angry.I will pray for God to end your misery!

Life is not fair!At all!














posted by salam @ 2:07 PM
Bookmark this post: KhabberDel.ici.ousDiggRedditY! MyWebGoogle Bookmarks
(14) comments


Add a Comment

On July, 30, 2006 4:53 PM , Dar
from Jordan said:

Well , this has a very bad effect on the releation between the kids and their parents , i have heard stories that the kids no more listen to their mothers as much as they listen to the maid .........
Ba3dein el maid is usually brought for doing the chores , bs it seems that mothers nowadays , consider children one of the house chores too !!!!
o lessa balawai .....

CheeerZ!

On July, 30, 2006 4:55 PM , Dar
from Jordan said:

I gss i will get a maid to read the blogs for me and do all the comments .... h3

By the way , mabrook for the blog new look , i didnt have the chance to say taht b4 !

CheeerZ!

On July, 31, 2006 9:41 AM , salam
from Jordan said:

Thanks Dar,the design is actually still evolving,it's just a new template,but better than before.

On July, 31, 2006 11:50 PM , noone forever
from Jordan said:

I dont like how the text extends to overlap part of the stripe on the right, a bit annoying to read! just a note from a designer's point of view :-)

On August, 01, 2006 4:32 PM , kinzi
from United States said:

Hi Salam, greetings! I miss you too much...great new look and great points on the subject. God bless your fam in Doha

On August, 01, 2006 8:39 PM , Mayoush
from Jordan said:

Sous,i have 2 agree with the designer..[i think u should fix this soon--> as an IT specialist plus a sister's point of view] ;)y3ni we want you to be more perfect .. nevertheless the article is nice :)

On August, 02, 2006 11:11 AM , huda
from Jordan said:

i love it ,i guess ur my funniest sister (sorry mayoush!),and ofcourse i admire raya's smart funny answer:)

On August, 02, 2006 3:31 PM , Randa N.
from Jordan said:

Hi Salam,
As always, this is very funny and nice. Thanks for the nice stories.

Hi Huda: I will kill you!
You totally ignored me.!

On August, 02, 2006 5:45 PM , thecaller
from Egypt said:

asalam 3alaykom,
hi salam..intresting post..
things aren't different in egypt except for the fact that most maids are egyptians!!
personally i think that maids..or as i prefer to call them..HELP..should stick to that..HELP !!
no need to let someone live with my family doing parenting and cooking and house hold chores..
i have a big house and two kids..yet i use help once a week for cleaning only..
i think that i should raise my kids and cook and feed them with my own hands or else..

i've heared about the beating thing especially in the gulf..this is just inhuman..the prophet (PBUH) never asked his help why did or didn't they do anything!!

thank you for sharing ,nice job.

On August, 07, 2006 3:51 PM , Undertaker
from Jordan said:

Maids are totally un-necessary in my opnion.i believe that parents are responsible and are the only ppl in charge of raising up their children.there are many children who learn the sri-lanken 1st before learning their mother language:p

On August, 07, 2006 3:54 PM , Undertaker
from Jordan said:

Maids are totally un-necessary in my opnion.i believe that parents are responsible and are the only ppl in charge of raising up their children.there are many children who learn the sri-lanken 1st before learning their mother language:p

On August, 13, 2006 1:59 AM , mads
from Egypt said:

i'm MADS ! any realation between me & maids?!!!

On August, 20, 2006 10:45 AM , ada
from United Arab Emirates said:


Maids are not all bad effects, they are here to help us get through our daily lives. of course if the mother is not working, say, just stay in the house and take care of the kids, but if she has a career, and she has to help her husband, that's the time we need some help. and these maids need to work, they have to send money back home, maybe to save for the future, they also have dreams. But sometimes we trust them too much, we tend to forget our role as the main caregiver of the family, the real educator, the administrator of our own home. And we cannot blame this all to the maids. They are too eager to please us, even our kids, that sometimes they tend to forget their own needs. Let's not forget that they are also human beings, and we entrust our family and our home, and our own life to them. Treat your maid kindly, and everything will be perfect.

On September, 06, 2006 12:23 PM , Omaima
from Jordan said:

Yes, I also have a maid, but I wish I didn't have to have one. I have one because I have severe fibromyalgia and arthritis, but I think it's just terrible how I see other maids just simply doing too much "mother" stuff. I always insist that my 5 kids still do some chores and to treat the maid respectfully, but they resist and I think it's because it's the norm here not to respect maids and to talk down to them. Very sad.



Add a Comment

<<Home