Reflections
AT ebb time I wrote a few lines upon the shore..and gave them all my heart and all my soul..at tide time I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.."jubran khalil"

:: I Will Not Turn Into That Sort Of Mom, I Will Not Turn Into That Sort Of Mom,I Will Not Turn Into Th

I need to chill!!
 
Seriously!!
 
I can not believe I did this to my daughter!! I copied the first 35 pages of her math book and made her solve all the problems in one afternoon. What was I thinking? I kept her by my side from 3-8 with a couple of ten minute TV breaks..I would not even let her play because I knew it would be difficult to get her to stop and come back to finish.
 
The Notebook said: Math Work Paper,Revision of First Unit.
 
Not test, but Work Paper!!
 
So, let me get this straight: They have to revise the first unit, they will be given a work paper with problems to solve, and this work paper will be graded and handed back in, in a couple of days. Sounds like a test to me, so no matter how much they try to play down the grades thing, it will still matter to every parent, child and teacher..but did I really need to push her over the edge and solve every damn question in the stupid confusing book that left even me perplexed at what some of the answers should be ?
 
In fact, had it not been for my husband's wise words, I am very ashamed to say I could have made her go over the problems the teacher has written in the notebook too!!
 
But I know why I did this!
 
I'd promised myself a long time ago that I will never turn into that sort of mom.
But when we're doing her daily homework, I can hardly get her attention long enough to finish the things that the teacher has asked to be done, and as much as I'd love to go over all the new concepts they had covered in all subjects, I can hardly ever do any of that.
I like to know what they are discussing in science and in ijtima3iat (social studies sounds like such a big word) because I can casually point out some related issues during our day to day life, and I know how good this is for her, and how much more she enjoys it when we are talking about different animal species, or about the sun's movement while we're driving around in the car, or baking a cake, instead of holding the book and reading from it. I know she learns much more math when I give her the money to pay for our shopping herself than when she solves 35 pages of math problems in one go..but  I never have the time to do this..I am either too busy to look at all her books, or she is not interested to just browse through the books with me and show me what they've done after she'd just finished studying for her dictation!
And so, nearly two months into the school year, I found myself pressured to cover all the Math concepts they learned in one go. I had an urgent need to do this because I did not want to feel like I am not doing my duty, as a mother , to give her the best education and teaching a mother can offer..later on there will be days when I fall short in any attempt to help her, there will be calculus and Physics and I'll have to pretend I am really busy than not to show her that I have actually fogotten it all, and that I could not do solve differential equations to save my life! But it's rather early to get into that!! I know parents tend to push their children in order to help them achieve, I know we want the best for our children, and wish they would excel in everything, but I was a little girl once, I did not want to do my homework, I did not want to spend more than an hour studying, and I wanted to play , read books and watch TV, so why wouldn't I giver her all she wants, and take care of her studies reasonably, never forcing her to do things at times when she did not want to do them? Why did this work out for me, but is not good enough for her?
 Because I want her to be better than me..but I should realize that it's ok if she did not get full marks every time, although she does, most of the time, it's ok if her handwriting is not at its best every time, and it's ok if she did not come back with the Excellent Student ribbon every week ..and it's not the end of the world if she forgets one of her books at school, or loses her sharpener every day..She is seven ,woman!!for God's sake, chill!!It's only second grade!!
 
Now, excuse me while I go copy this fifty time, I will not turn into that sort of mom, I will not turn into that sort of mom, I will no....

(4) comments


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On October, 09, 2007 10:55 AM , Khalidah
from Jordan said:

Wallah ya Salam, I cannot begin to comprehend what you go through on daily basis as a mom .. it sounds like a very hard job :)

Don't beat yourself too hard my dear ... you only have the best interest for your daughter and I am sure that she knows how much you love her ... so chill my friend ... you are normal :)


On October, 09, 2007 11:00 AM , salam
from Jordan said:

I tell you Khalida, it's one hell of a roller coaster ride!! the ups, the downs, the thrills, the dismays..all in one place..but all in all pretty enjoyable!!
Thanks!!


On October, 09, 2007 1:29 PM , Life
from Jordan said:

yeeeee...
Thats why my moms gets so nervious when its home work and studying time of my third grade little brother :( allah e3enkom ya rab..


On October, 19, 2007 3:19 PM , Mayoujj
from Jordan said:

saloum ,

Nice article , take easy on Raya she is V.smart and iam sure you will always be proud of her:)
btw the other day me and my colleague were chatting abt this issue,she was telling me that she was sooo nerd at school and she even hated holidays she came back from school,skipped lunch and went directly to study:)while i was telling her i hated studying i always postponed studying by saying i will start at 4 or 5 :)we are now both at the same place iam in a higher position (keeping in mind that i was a perfect student till tawjihi :d ).Actually i sometimes regret not studying at tawjihi bcoz i went to ahlieh uni. But at the same time i enjoyed my time at school& uni
so Thank God i finished studying haha:):)




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